Many count hard work as the key to their success, but for Sabrina Starling, who has coached thousands of entrepreneurs and conducted research with more than 650 entrepreneurs, working effectively trumps hard work and long hours, allowing work to support life, rather than the other way around.
“I am leading the Work Supports Life movement and disrupting hustle culture,” she said. “Hustle culture is toxic, and it’s pervasive. We are on a mission to get 10,000 business leaders and A-Players to take the Work Supports Life Pledge. I am seeking opportunities to share the Work Supports Life message through keynote speaking and podcast guest opportunities.”
Also known as the Business Psychologist, Starling is the international bestselling author of the “How to Hire the Best” series and “The 4 Week Vacation,” as well as co-host of the “Profit by Design” podcast and the founder of Tap the Potential in Little Rock.
She grew up in Alexandria, Louisiana, and has a doctorate in counseling psychology from the University of Texas at Austin. She is also a professional certified coach and board-certified coach.
The spark that ignited her career was, ironically, burnout.
“Nineteen years ago, I was burning out as a psychologist at a rural community mental health center. There was not enough of me or my fellow team members to go around,” she said. “I was in my early 30s and had just invested years in graduate school. I was a few years into my job, thinking, ‘Is this how the rest of my life will be?’ I was grinding it out, coming home emotionally drained and depleted daily.”
TTP team members Kaitlyn Beaver, from left, Melissa Kay and Starling
About that time, she stumbled across a course about life coaching, which she said presented an excellent way to repurpose her skills as a psychologist.
“The course was all about learning from the inside out, meaning we had to walk the talk,” she said. “Anything we asked clients to do, we had to be willing to do ourselves.”
The first assignment was to journal for one hour about the question, “What do I want?”
“This was tough,” she said. “I rambled some disconnected thoughts. Then clarity emerged — I want my work to support my life, not the other way around.”
She said she realized that she wanted to work no more than 25 hours per week so that she could be emotionally present with her family and clients, which she considers one of the greatest gifts people can give another human being.
“Working 25 hours per week is one of my best decisions,” she said. “Limits force innovation and creativity. A 25-hour workweek has taught me to be laser-focused on being effective, not busy. I’ve learned to pay attention to what works and do more of that. I’ve learned skills to avoid overwhelm and burnout as I built a successful company. Most importantly, it’s given me the gift of no regrets.”
After figuring out how to grow a successful business without it taking over her life, she now helps clients do the same through Tap the Potential, which she founded in 2005. She said one of the greatest leadership skills she has learned is to delegate activities that are not suited to her strengths.
“One of our immutable laws at Tap the Potential is to be a gift from our gifts,” she said. “I want our team members to work from their strengths so that work is energizing, fun and life-giving. A-Players crave opportunities for advancement.”
Tap the Potential Retreat 2023
She has developed a novel way to ensure professionals work efficiently with her approach of making time worth $10,000 an hour. The system assigns dollar amounts to work activities, encouraging participants to delegate lower-value activities to focus on utilizing their strengths to accomplish higher-value activities.
“Each of us has $10,000 an hour activities,” she said. “We are doing them when we are working from our strengths and adding value by making other tasks easier or unnecessary for ourselves or others. We teach our clients how to do this, as well.”
Yes, her typical day involves work, but she also has time for coffee, meditation, activities with her children, family dinner and a good conversation with her children before she falls into bed. She said her favorite part of the day is spending quiet weekend mornings sitting on her front porch, looking out over the pasture, journaling and knitting.
She said her innate curiosity and emotional intelligence coupled with her love of reading help her excel in her work.
“I have always been an avid reader,” she said. “As a child, I devoured biographies and autobiographies. I am endlessly curious about people. When talking with someone, I want to know what matters to them and how I can support them.”
She often speaks about her philosophy of Work Supports Life and, in October, delivered a TEDx Talk at TEDxWilsonPark in Alabama, titled, “Work Supports Life, Not the Other Way Around.”
Harriet Pittman, clockwise from top, Sarah Martin, Starling and Melissa Kay
“I’m an introvert who was terrified of public speaking,” she said. “Public speaking was a required course in college. I put it off until my senior year. My knees shook so severely during my first speech that I had to sit down. Now speaking is the focus of my career.”
That focus has allowed her to have a direct impact on people around the world. One time, an audience member came up to her after a talk to introduce his wife and say that because of Starling’s message, he would be home more and more present. Another time, a client handed her his phone to speak with his 10-year-old daughter.
“She told me her dad has been taking her to school every morning and riding bikes with her in the evening,” Starling said. “She said, ‘Thank you for helping him not work so much anymore.’ Moments like these are why I do what I do.”
Being present in her own life is by no means an easy task. Starling started her company as a single mother, and her youngest daughter did not sleep for more than two hours at a time for more than a year.
“Running my business and maintaining our property while being there for my girls on very little sleep was grueling,” she said. “The only way I pulled that off was to prioritize my self-care. I knew that if I went down, our family would go down, and so would the business. That impacts my team members, their families and our clients. There’s a lot at stake.”
TTP team members Melissa Kay, from left, Starling and Kaitlyn Beaver
That is a life lesson she has carried with her and encouraged others to understand: “We have people depending on us. They deserve the best from us.” For that reason, she said, she invests in herself first each day so she can show up at her best for the people she cares about.
“It’s ironic to me that we successful people embrace the value of investing in ourselves, particularly when it comes to learning and growth opportunities, yet we say things like, ‘I just need to get through this crunch time, and then I will eat healthier, get more sleep, exercise and make time for friends,’” she said. “We put others’ needs ahead of our own. We run on empty, then snap at those we love. We put off connecting deeply with our loved ones because there is work to be done. We set ourselves up for regret.”
Fully unplugging is the antidote to burnout, she said, adding that she has a set time at which she stops working every day and turns her phone off or puts it in another room during the evenings so her family knows she is there with them and emotionally connecting.
“I also take weekends off and fully unplug,” she said. “In my unplugged time, I intentionally create experiences with those I love.”
